"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness"
From the number of books and internet articles filled with instructions on how to be happy it looks like happiness is elusive for most of us and we’re still pursuing it. I wonder what our country would be like if we'd included the pursuit of meaning or contentment in our Declaration of Independence.
According to Wikipedia, “Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.”
Dictionary.com defines happiness as:
1. the quality or state of being happy.
2. good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.
Both of these definitions relate happiness to experiencing pleasure and other positive emotions.
Popcorn, chocolate and a good cappuccino make me happy. So does buying new shoes. Other people get a happy buzz from a drink, buying a new car or watching a basketball game. All of these things can shift our mood and make us feel happy…temporarily. This type of happiness is known as hedonic well-being…happiness = pleasure. If this is the happiness we’re pursuing, how is that any different than an addict chasing a fix?
In contrast we have eudaimonia; a Greek word that’s often mistranslated as happiness. Eudaimonia, or eudemonia, comes from the philosophy of Aristotle. It refers to human flourishing and literally means “the state of having a good indwelling spirit, a good genius”.
Reading a great poem or having an evocative conversation with a friend also create feelings of happiness for me. However, this happiness has a more enduring quality. After the pleasure in the poem or the conversation has faded, something deeper emerges. I find myself thinking about a line from the poem or part of conversation days later. It stays with me; opens me and shifts my perspective.
This more enduring experience of happiness is about contentment and well-being rather than pleasurable feelings. Not everything that gives me a happy buzz is conducive to my well-being. Some things that don’t feel pleasurable in the moment do add to my sense of contentment.
There are days when I don’t feel like going to the gym. Sometimes I get a little endorphin happy from working out. Other times I don’t. I go, whether or not I really want to, because it adds to my sense of well-being. Over a period of days, weeks and/or months, I feel better when I work out.
The happy buzz isn’t sustainable. Contentment and a sense of well-being are. How often do we settle for feeling happy when what we really want is contentment?
Where does meaning come into our pursuit of happiness? Many of the things that give us an immediate happy buzz are about instant gratification. In the long run, these things may have little or no meaning.
An article published last year in The Atlantic , There’s More To Life Than Being Happy, referenced a recent study by psychological scientists where they asked 400 Americans whether their lives were happy and/or meaningful. The study found that having a happy life correlates to being a “taker” where a meaningful life is associated with being a “giver.”
Happiness and meaning do overlap, but meaning is more related to contentment than pleasure. Whereas feeling happy has more to do with satisfying personal desires. We all need some instant gratification. Engaging in a bit hedonic well-being is a basic part of taking care of yourself.
The article in The Atlantic goes on to say:
“according to the Center for Disease Control, about 4 out of 10 Americans have not discovered a satisfying life purpose. Forty percent either do not think their lives have a clear sense of purpose or are neutral about whether their lives have purpose. Nearly a quarter of Americans feel neutral or do not have a strong sense of what makes their lives meaningful.”
Yikes! I was initially startled when I read this. However over the years numerous clients have asked Pam and me if we could tell them what their life purpose was. We can’t. Meaning is an inside job.
It’s hard for me to picture a life that didn’t include meaning, contentment and periodic happy buzzes. I’m always up for a good cup of coffee. Bring on the chocolate!
However those temporary pleasures would feel hollow without a deeper foundation. I can’t imagine a life without meaning. Nor can I imagine ever feeling content without meaning in my life.
Each of us place different levels of importance on meaning, contentment and happiness. One is not intrinsically better than the other. The big question is do you know what kind of happiness you’re pursuing and is your pursuit congruent with what you really want?
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