After last weeks post I found myself thinking more about the nitty gritty aspects of balance. How do I know when I'm out of balance? What do I do to address that? I spent a little time this week looking at internet articles on that topic. I didn't find any that resonated completely. The articles I read were a mixed bag of suggestions on increasing awareness (yea!) and concrete "do this" kinda things...hmmm. Beyond basic physical needs like nutrition and getting enough sleep, balance is unique to each individual. Balance for me may feel completely out of whack for you.
Virtually all the articles I read on balance made suggestions regarding priorities, goals, lists and plans. As far as plans go there's a saying I love, "If you want to make the Universe laugh, make plans." Yep. Feeling out of balance often involves situations that seem to constantly change. Sure I can make plans but if I hold those as more than a rough outline...
Most of what I read about priorities focused on daily priorities. I can see how that's helpful, but where do bigger priorities play in? Knowing what's important to me and what I want my life to be about changes my daily priorities.
Bigger priorities for me include engaging my creativity, being of service, personal growth and being the best me I can. Being true to myself means using those bigger priorities as a guage to arrange my daily priorities. If I'm still not sure whether something is important or not, I ask myself if this is going to matter in five years. If the answer is "no", it gets tossed.
Arranging daily priorities according to my larger ones often results in things going undone for awhile. Bottom line - when it comes to chores like cleaning, yard work and errand running, there is always more to do. If the chores habitually make the top of my list, I'm creating a life that's about getting chores done and how clean my house is. No thanks.
Lists can be great tools, depending on how I use them. When I'm really busy my mind spits out endless "do" lists. These mental lists tend to grow, distort and seem much bigger than they actually are. Once I write them down, they stop shape shifting and taking up so much head space. But if I turn the list items into things I "should" or "have to" do by some self-imposed deadline, my list contributes to the imbalance I'm feeling.
Goals can also add to feeling out of whack if I hold them rigidly. I have a love-hate relationship with goals. They can help me remain mindful of my larger priorities. However if the come from my head, without equal input from my heart and gut, goals become stumbling blocks. If I hold my goals rigidly, I blind myself. I get so focused on achieving the goal I miss opportunities that can open me to something better.
Most of what I've learned about balance has come from being way out of balance and experiencing what that feels like. It's uncomfortable. When we feel that discomfort many of us look for a way to stop feeling uncomfortable. We drink a couple glasses of wine, zone out with TV or keep ourselves so busy we don't notice what we're feeling.
While this may provide temporary relief from the discomfort, it doesn't effect the imbalance or allow to us to be aware of how being out of balance feels. Knowing what I experience physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically and spiritually when I'm out of balance lets me recognize what's happening before my seesaw hits the ground.
Physical tension:
-My jaw gets tight. Most of the time this is either unprocessed emotion or the need to say something that I'm not voicing.
-Tight spots my back, neck and shoulders.
-Straining muscles while performing mundane tasks. Holding more tension in my body results in strained muscles from doing things like taking groceries out of my car and sleeping "wrong."
More monkey mind:
-The "what ifs" get more persistent
-I'm more prone to spinning around in my head about things I can neither change nor control...and some that aren't even happening.
-My mind and body aren't in the same place. Rather than being present with what I'm doing, my mind is already on the next task or out in what might happen next week.
More emotional rollercoaster:
-I get easily thrown off when things don't go according to my plan.
-My emotional reactions are more likely to be disproportionate to the situation.
-I feel generally impatient, grumpy, out of sorts and irritated.
Spiritual disconnection:
-I feel alone and isolated.
-I feel disconnected from my internal landscape.
-I lose track of the bigger picture and get stuck in details.
-I tend to take things personally
Energetic scatteredness:
-I don't feel grounded.
-I feel scattered and have a hard time focusing.
If I'm paying attention, I can often catch these imbalance signs as they come up and work with them. Knowing my reset buttons is an invaluable tool. Reset buttons are the things I can do to mitigate feeling out of balance and change my relationship to what's happening.
Taking a walk alone in nature is a big one for me. It gets my endorphines going. It pulls me back to being centered in my body and the present moment. Walking in nature also clears my head and reminds me of my right size in relation to the rest of the Universe.
When I go through long periods of time where my life is filled with intensity and/or chaos walking in nature is an important part of staying centered in the storm. So is taking time to write or draw. Getting disconnected from my creativity, even if nothing else is going on, leaves me feeling grumpy and out of sorts.
Attending to those maintenance things means stepping away from the chaos. That, in and of itself, can be challenging. Part of being out of balance includes feeling there is way too much to do for me to take a break. The more acutely I feel I can't afford a break, the more I need to take one.
We're all unique in our tolerance for physical, mental, energetic, spiritual and emotional discomfort. Knowing which form of discomfort affects you the most is important because addressing that aspect of feeling off balance can shift your relationship to everything else that's going on.
Virtually all the articles I read on balance made suggestions regarding priorities, goals, lists and plans. As far as plans go there's a saying I love, "If you want to make the Universe laugh, make plans." Yep. Feeling out of balance often involves situations that seem to constantly change. Sure I can make plans but if I hold those as more than a rough outline...
Most of what I read about priorities focused on daily priorities. I can see how that's helpful, but where do bigger priorities play in? Knowing what's important to me and what I want my life to be about changes my daily priorities.
Bigger priorities for me include engaging my creativity, being of service, personal growth and being the best me I can. Being true to myself means using those bigger priorities as a guage to arrange my daily priorities. If I'm still not sure whether something is important or not, I ask myself if this is going to matter in five years. If the answer is "no", it gets tossed.
Arranging daily priorities according to my larger ones often results in things going undone for awhile. Bottom line - when it comes to chores like cleaning, yard work and errand running, there is always more to do. If the chores habitually make the top of my list, I'm creating a life that's about getting chores done and how clean my house is. No thanks.
Lists can be great tools, depending on how I use them. When I'm really busy my mind spits out endless "do" lists. These mental lists tend to grow, distort and seem much bigger than they actually are. Once I write them down, they stop shape shifting and taking up so much head space. But if I turn the list items into things I "should" or "have to" do by some self-imposed deadline, my list contributes to the imbalance I'm feeling.
Goals can also add to feeling out of whack if I hold them rigidly. I have a love-hate relationship with goals. They can help me remain mindful of my larger priorities. However if the come from my head, without equal input from my heart and gut, goals become stumbling blocks. If I hold my goals rigidly, I blind myself. I get so focused on achieving the goal I miss opportunities that can open me to something better.
Most of what I've learned about balance has come from being way out of balance and experiencing what that feels like. It's uncomfortable. When we feel that discomfort many of us look for a way to stop feeling uncomfortable. We drink a couple glasses of wine, zone out with TV or keep ourselves so busy we don't notice what we're feeling.
While this may provide temporary relief from the discomfort, it doesn't effect the imbalance or allow to us to be aware of how being out of balance feels. Knowing what I experience physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically and spiritually when I'm out of balance lets me recognize what's happening before my seesaw hits the ground.
Physical tension:
-My jaw gets tight. Most of the time this is either unprocessed emotion or the need to say something that I'm not voicing.
-Tight spots my back, neck and shoulders.
-Straining muscles while performing mundane tasks. Holding more tension in my body results in strained muscles from doing things like taking groceries out of my car and sleeping "wrong."
More monkey mind:
-The "what ifs" get more persistent
-I'm more prone to spinning around in my head about things I can neither change nor control...and some that aren't even happening.
-My mind and body aren't in the same place. Rather than being present with what I'm doing, my mind is already on the next task or out in what might happen next week.
More emotional rollercoaster:
-I get easily thrown off when things don't go according to my plan.
-My emotional reactions are more likely to be disproportionate to the situation.
-I feel generally impatient, grumpy, out of sorts and irritated.
Spiritual disconnection:
-I feel alone and isolated.
-I feel disconnected from my internal landscape.
-I lose track of the bigger picture and get stuck in details.
-I tend to take things personally
Energetic scatteredness:
-I don't feel grounded.
-I feel scattered and have a hard time focusing.
If I'm paying attention, I can often catch these imbalance signs as they come up and work with them. Knowing my reset buttons is an invaluable tool. Reset buttons are the things I can do to mitigate feeling out of balance and change my relationship to what's happening.
Taking a walk alone in nature is a big one for me. It gets my endorphines going. It pulls me back to being centered in my body and the present moment. Walking in nature also clears my head and reminds me of my right size in relation to the rest of the Universe.
When I go through long periods of time where my life is filled with intensity and/or chaos walking in nature is an important part of staying centered in the storm. So is taking time to write or draw. Getting disconnected from my creativity, even if nothing else is going on, leaves me feeling grumpy and out of sorts.
Attending to those maintenance things means stepping away from the chaos. That, in and of itself, can be challenging. Part of being out of balance includes feeling there is way too much to do for me to take a break. The more acutely I feel I can't afford a break, the more I need to take one.
We're all unique in our tolerance for physical, mental, energetic, spiritual and emotional discomfort. Knowing which form of discomfort affects you the most is important because addressing that aspect of feeling off balance can shift your relationship to everything else that's going on.
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