This year I've bumped through numerous situations infused with something I can only call grace. I didn't seek out that word. It arose unbidden when I looked for a way to describe my experience.
Grace has a decidedly Christian connotation for me. I wanted a different word, but couldn't find one. The Christian definition of grace is unmerited favor from God. Hin the context of a religion that places such emphasis on "sin" isn't all favor unmerited? If so, that definition of grace is too commonplace to fit my experience.
The use of the word "unmerited" implies there is a way to earn grace, to have it arrive in response of my earning merit. This doesn't match my experience either. The magic of grace is that it arrives unexpectedly and can't be anticipated. So what is grace?
In Hinduism the concept of divine grace is called kripa. The infusion of kripa is an event which can catapult a devotee into personal transformation. This definition is closer to my experience, although how much transformation it initiates depends on how I pay attention.
I've been chewing on this grace thing for months but it didn't coalesce until this past week. Here in this desert landscape of harsh beauty the intrinsic softness of grace stands in sharp relief.
For months I wondered if grace was another name for synchronicity. Although grace can come with synchronicity, they are not the same thing. Synchronicity is something I can invite and align myself with. When I listen to my heart and gut/intuition and let them lead rather than relying on logic, I invite synchronicity.
If I invite synchronicity, it will come. I've experienced that over and over. It's about aligning myself with the flow of the Universe around me, even if the motion doesn't match my idea of what "should" be happening. I often gauge how much in right relation I am by the level of synchronicity in my life.
Shortly before I left for Joshua Tree I spent two weeks cooking up in the Taos Ski Valley. During the first week I realized I'd need a door I could close, wifi and a decent cell service to work with long distance clients while I was in JT.
I had a day and a half off between cooking weeks. Shortly after I got home I followed a nudge to check Craigslist for housing in Joshua Tree and found a couple guys renting a room in their house. Synchronicity...problem solved in 24 hours.
That level of synchronicity permeated all the planning and prep I did for the trip. That's the way synchronicity works for me. It enters in response to a need when I align myself with the bigger picture. Synchronicity isn't always linear. I've experienced the need being fulfilled before the event that creates the need occurred. The crux of the invitation seems to center on a need that doesn't come from ego and my awareness of that need.
Grace exists outside of need...or at least beyond any need I'm aware of. It comes not in response to any requirement but as a messenger of beauty, wonder or something I hadn't thought possible. Grace arises from a more complex intersection of seen and unseen than synchronicity.
Synchronicity can be startling. Grace is gentle and sometimes so subtle I can miss it if I'm not paying attention. It seems to enter when I am in an open receiving state.
While I cannot create synchronicity it is the warp through which life is woven. Although I still find it magical, given how inextricably interconnected we all are, I've often wondered why lack of synchronicity isn't more startling than its presence. Grace holds more profound mystery because it can't be predicted, anticipated or expected. The magic of grace is closer to raw creation. It comes from a place beyond the comprehension of our human pea brains.
Grace is a sacred exchange. If I bring a gift and grace enters when I release the gift, that space is filled with an immensity that stretches my bones and inspires reverence. This exchange only takes place if I am able to allow and receive.
Before I left for Joshua Tree I felt some introvert anxiety about going to a new place where I only knew one person. I wanted to come with an open heart. What I continue to receive here is a heart opening beyond what I thought I was capable of.
The present moment immediacy of stepping into a community focused on caring for a family is stunning. The intimacy of what we're doing strips us bare. I'm amazed at how after a couple weeks I feel more comfortable with and more connected to some of these new people than I usually do after six months of getting to know someone.
Last night it hit me that this is what's possible when people meet each other naked with no room for pretense or persona. I feel awed both by the singular uniqueness of this experience and how open hearted I feel in it. This is what grace does.
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